eyefish by ~PinkyFuretto on deviantART

new medication again:

clonazepam plus lithium

this is all

I've got some casual work at the hospital site office. My job is to go through the plans for the new hospital (all 3000+ rooms of it) and mark the paint colors for each room and corridor. One of the site architects has done about 100 rooms, each of which has a "feature wall", but expects me to do the rest. They seem to be happy entrusting this task to a 20-year-old but personally I don't feel I can do it.

Current Mood: anxious

glyph bird by ~PinkyFuretto on deviantART

Soundtrack:
Eli, the barrow boy ~ The Decemberists

Eli, the barrow boy
Of the old town
Sells coal and marigolds
And he cries out
All down the day

Below the tamaracks
He is crying:
“Corn cobs and candle wax for the buying”
All down the day

“Would I could afford to buy my love a fine robe
Made of gold and silk Arabian thread
But she is dead and gone and lying in a pine grove
And I must push my barrow all the day
And I must push my barrow all the day”

Eli, the barrow boy
When they found him
Dressed all in corduroy
He had drowned in
The river down the way

They laid his body down in a church yard
But still when the moon is out
With his push cart
He calls down the day

"Would I could afford to buy my love a fine gown
Made of gold and silk Arabian thread
But I am dead and gone and lying in a church ground
And still I push my barrow all the day
Still I push my barrow all the day"

Current Mood: cold

Source Code by ~PinkyFuretto on deviantART

My Chromosomes.

Guess who discovered DA image hosting?

arabian wolf by ~PinkyFuretto on deviantART

A drawing by me that makes a nice wallpaper.

I'm pretty convinced my mental state is incurable. For those not in the know I've been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and stuck on antipsychotics since my last post. They don't help as I'm still utterly miserible and hate life. I think it's terminal.

http://pinkyfuretto.deviantart.com/

yes, really.

I'm not dead either.

Test results came back finally.

Liver, renal function mostly OK.

New Diagnosis: Malnorishment.

That is all.

Apparently my liver and possibly my kidneys have packed up due to damage of unknown origin. This explains why I've been eating less than once a day and have been getting sick more than usual. (twice this year alone! And I'm still not over it!)
Blood tests for renal and hepatological analysis taken today...will post results in a few days.

Hopefully it's nothing I can't recover from.

'Life of Pi" is the thinking man's "Da vinci code". Like Dan Brown's craptacular suspense novel, "Life of Pi" came to me with rave reveiws and a film in production. I'm wary of any book that suits conversion into a film. But I read it anyway and was very impressed; it presents serious philosophical musings on life, religion, and the nature of man as a compelling allegorical novel. So why make it into a film? The book's real stories and ideas are hidden just beneath the surface and between the lines; the insights it yeilds are a reward for those who read critically. For me the story of Piscine Molitor Patel marooned with Richard Parker quickly became irrelevant; they became allegorical representations of the divine and the animal within humanity, and for that matter, within myself. Will the average filmgoer find this rewarding insight, or just see a bizzarre and pointless tale of an indian castaway and a bengal tiger?
That said, I am a visually-minded ferret and found the book pleased my mind's eye as much as the deeper parts of my brain. The images of Pi and Richard Parker drifting across the desert-like ocean, flat and monotonous and lonely, yet bursting with life just under the surface, were essential to my understanding and enjoyment of the book.

Yesterday I started "Pihkal: a chemical love story", a mostly autobiographical book by a chemist who devoted his life to synthesing and trying new psychedelics. As well as an autobiography thinly disguesed as a novel, it also contains synthesis instructions for hundreds of obscure psychedelic chemicals. Reveiw to follow.

Current Mood: cheerful

I'm back for good this time, I think. I have a pretty stable internet connection. You can also find me on MSN or on secondlife as Pinky Fredriksson.

Still living in Aro, have taken up indoor gardening. (of a totally licit type) Pictures to follow.

Current Mood: cheerful

Am I actually good for ANYTHING AT ALL?

...and still a loner. My internet-based "friendships" in the furry fandom are worthless when I don't have a net connection. I just don't know what happened to my friends in reality...one by one, everyone I knew has moved away, ignored me, or just faded into the ether. Without my constant attention and bothering; my "friends" are only too happy to forget all about me. Now people won't spend time with me even if I pay 'em.

Forget about my will to live; by this stage killing myself is socially responsible. It has been made clear to me that the world would appreciate it. So; why am I still here?

Yeah I'm still alive. I'll be moving to the aro vally in a couple of weeks, everyone txt me if they want my new address.
I to be atThe Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

In the not-to-distant future, Snickers and myself will be looking for a new flat. Is anyone at uni looking for a new flat? We might find a 2-bedroom place but I'm keen to get a third person in there. Over the course of 2006 my devotion to university has decreased incredibly. I'm not good at keeping routines at the best of times, and living with a couple of routine-less people has made it even harder. So, basically I'm looking for a vaugely organised student to move in to our new flat, in the hope they will impose a little routine on the household, or at least me, by being present.

Brainsickness does not appear to be getting better. I'm thinking about seeing a head-doctor..

Why do so few furry artists paint? There are so maqny ubertalented furs out there, but the vast majority use computers.
Not that I'm talented, but I found a box of acrylics and some brushes to be a better investment than photoshop. (That said, I'd looooove a pirated copy, hint-hint). So I've taken to painting and so far I'm really enjoying it. w00.

Parents have had a huge shitfight; my dad's fleed the city.
Apparently though they're not splitting.

Flatmates hate me.

Step one: Smoke a cone or two
Step Two: Put on music. (Tool, Bauhaus, The Cure are good)
Step three: Watch the itunes visualiser.

I seem to eat way more than everyone else in the flat. Perhaps I should go on a diet, I feel that I'm wasting all the food.